The fact that I can suddenly get so extremely hyper after weeks (or months) of depressing thoughts amazes me. Its kind of scary.


All my previous posts from a month ago were filled with thoughts of hopelessness, loneliness/disability to communicate, bad memory, and escapism to the point of it being alittle suicidal... and basically I was ticking almost everything off numerous "depression" checklists. (check out all my previous posts)

Then came monday (onwards) where I basically spent the entire day acting like some weird nut everywhere. Nothing beats having me blabbering/singing non-stop for God knows how long... and I was too high to notice if anybody else was responding. More like I didn't care if they were, haha. And.. I kept hugging people, was extremely high on msn too.

..not like anybody really needs to know so I shan't list anything else.



You know how reading scares you unnecessarily sometimes? These symptoms remind me of typical behaviors of bipolar disorder patients (depression followed by hypomania, not mania in my case). It only seemed clearer after I wrote down these contradicting emotions, so I did some reading-up.

Well.. It makes me (and the others around me) happy when I'm like that anyway. No wait, Hypomania can be difficult to diagnose because it may masquerade as mere happiness". Thanks alot, article.

Psychologists sometimes make too much deal out of things and give a term to even the mildest cases (sometimes misdiagnosis) but hey, it only means I'm fine since it's a mild case and I'm therefore more or less normal. Not like I'm not already aware of my contradicting personalities.

Excluding the part about me being weird when i'm high and totally emo when I'm not (where's the in-between?), I'm fine.